sometimes, it feels that we are born in the world to suffer and walk towards our death. other times, it feels as though living is the best thing ever. so which is which? are we supposed to enjoy life? or are we supposed to feel like shit all the time? i doubt that there will be an answer to this since everyone has different views. perhaps i'm just a pessimist that feels like there's nothing much this world has to offer. who knows? nothing is certain anyway.



i guess, maybe i've overreacted. i must learn how to ignore things that have the potential to piss me off. i have yet to learn that. my father can still piss me off in 2 seconds. appearing in front of me is already one of the largest sins to me already. other things? forget it. out of my mind already. i do not remember stuff well. except i hate my father. thats well drilled in my mind already. if there was something like a religion(thank god its my own imagination), that would be the number 1 commandment. the absolute statement.



the next time any of u ppl see me drinking any alcoholic drinks anywhere, feel free to whack me. just whack.

and i got some asshole friends. damn it. i even call them friends. such assholes. seriously damn it lah. who they are, i will not say. they know it themselves. if they don't know, their skin is either damn thick, or they are complete faggots. or both. a new species of human called the thick skinned faggot.

and my ipod is coming home. soon


do any of you have irritating fathers that dun shut their fucking gap? if u do have, then i finally got someone who has got the same shit as me. a fucking broken recorder that doesnt stop playing crap



holy shit. i've been saboed. really saboed. im screwed. totally screwed. someone. really pls pls pls prepare my funeral. i want a coffin and a grave. thats it. sigh. sianness to the max wor. ZZZ



today, well today is an impatient day. i'm sure i pissed many ppl off today. didn't feel like waiting. so psed alot of ppl. really alot. could be partially because of a headache. just really didn't wanna wait too long anywhere.



fuck. i think i broke my dumbass fingers playing basketball today. zzz. shall stop playing bball liao! my fingers actually hurt when i try to clench my fist. fuck fuck fuck. right clicking has become a little problematic. oh well, doctor not required for the moment. was told its just swollen. maybe it'll just heal by itself. seriously hope so



finally. i finally sent my ipod for replacement. damn it. and my warranty just ended. that means my money's gonna fly again. noooooooooo. but then again, its a new ipod! woohoo. yea right. whatever.

went to cathay for buffet at this jap place. forgot place name, remembered where it was. 2nd time there. this time not ala carte. this time buffet. and their buffet. its seriously much better than sakae's. and the pricing is somewhat similar. must go there in a big group next time. its 15.90++. 6 ppl eat, around 18+ per person. quite ok to me leh. cos i eat de, confirm over 18. the plates of sashimi we ate. it almost made me puke. if i get to eat that much sashimi in a day again, i would definitely puke. 100%. but the food is much better than sakae's buffet.

and i'm proud to say that i've stopped thinking of her! another thing off my mind. maybe i'll laugh normally again soon.

and to end it off, i shall place a warning here. let it be known that absolutely no one is allowed to touch my wallet unless i give permission. that applies to everyone. if in doubt, ask cas what happened to her when she touched my money without my permission. i shall not post the threat here. it already spoiled my day threatening a friend. i would rather not do it. but yea. its a sensitive thing. touch and i'll make my warning happen. be warned.



felt very sian today. so went offline early. back again. but not on msn. found some new nice songs. good for me to listen. i need my ipod to be repaired faster. damn it. and i also need new earpiece. anyone wanna buy a good one for me?



sometimes, when people don't feel very good, they just want a huge pet or stuffed toy to hug. a dog would be nice. the cost of maintainance would be hell though. a life sized stuffed toy would be cheaper. but it can't interact with humans. i would like a husky though. they don't bark. and they've got this fur(?) coat that's so nice to hug. and they're warm. no money for the air conditioning and maintainance though. and something huge and inanimate would be damn nice to hug now though.



work was shit. went to work after classes. and gym. fuck man. i forgot to bring nametag. lucky they never cbcb. but i didn't get to slack. kept running here and there. stupid ppl lah. can't tell me want how many glasses of drink i 1 shot get lah. want to 1 by 1 tell me. kns. end up i amongst the slowest. but im not. alvin was the slowest. his table concludes 1 thing. angmoh ppl are freaking rich. the whole table 12 ppl. 12 ppl ar. 1 night. guess the number of cans of beer they drank. can't guess right? they drank 50 cans of beer and 3 bottles of red wine. and some had white wine too. i asked how much a can of beer costs at the hotel, freak man. no wonder hotels make so much money. 1 can of tiger beer. supermarts sell perhaps 3plus? the hotel, freaking sells it at 12bucks +++. W. T. F. multiply that by 50, and add the 3 bottles of red wine. wow. thats minimum 150 bucks. and they just swipe 1 card and pai pai pi gu and left. my jaw nearly dropped. and i spilt coke on a guest! lucky he said it was ok, and im lucky that it isn't red wine. woooo. escaped scolding+no pay+more scolding. pay is here. left 88 bucks. withdrew some today already.

and i guess there's nothing more. there are pictures to post though. last sunday's fish eating expedition. but i guess i won't post them up. cos im lazy, and i got no mood to wait. impatient as always as u can see from here. heh. and my timetable seriously has some problems. im gonna die this sem. add on the super tough modules, it means only 1 thing for me. time to start digging my grave, order my coffin, erm, flowers? monks? alot of hell money? let me start to think of my future in hell!



boring week. whole week briefing. brief here and there still the same things. lucky js lend me his earpiece. otherwise i dunno die until what liao. maths was boring. wee chuan was funny though. we were in this supposedly cold tutorial room. then i went in late. cos kelvin and me went to eat snack. then wee chuan was sitting in the middle of the row. directly under the aircon. then i see le, i sit at the edge. means 1 space between us. then he asked the funniest thing. he asked if i didn't dare sit next to him because he got poison. like LOL. of course not poison lah wee wee. its the aircon. i want the aircon. the space i choose is known for the "cold" aircon qualities. but not very cold leh. maybe cos i was bored, and went to nap for awhile. since i finished the whole of chapter 1 already. tomorrow sian. 12 to 1 FMB. stupid module. something like FMA. almost the same type of lecturer though. fucked up type. then followed by a 2 hr break, then 2 hrs of bio analysis. dunno whats that. but hope the lecturer lets us off early. i wanna go work there eat de. sian. need more stuff to keep certain things out of my mind. opening a bottle of chivas or absolut soon. extremely soon. maybe now?



i've decided to stop answering some questions. when u dun get definite answers, understand that i dun want to reveal anything. if i wanna say, i would say. that applies to everyone. from the best of my friends to the lowest of the outcasts. of course, if u were and outcast, i wouldn't even bother answering. i want a coffin for my bed though. anyone interested in getting one for me? wood, black pls, with a soft inner lining. and a lid that can be closed. and holes. holes are important. sleep is good. sleep without air isn't good. therefore, holes are important. and if possible, dangle it from the ceiling. then that would be the best bed ever.



1st day of school. well, it was good seeing almost everyone, except for those 4. shit happens. it happened once during the end of holidays liao. start of sch happen again. not that im against those 4. just that i dun think their attitude can let them last lah. and they always slack. hearing from other groups, they dun do work unless asked. 1 is excluded. 100%. i wouldn't want my practs to be screwed up now would i? another one not bad actually. but still, i prefer to work with ppl im closer to. if i'm seen not paying attention, i most probably am. not in a mood for anything much. dun ask me why. it should be extremely obvious



heh last day of holidays. and i spent it with sec sch friends. yep. went to some place for fish dinner. didnt care how much i spent. can't be bothered liao. then went pool. tried to laugh. and succeeded afew times for real. thats good? and i ended my sucky 6 weeks of "holiday" with a 500ml can of beer. heh.

damn. if only my room door could be closed. then i would close and lock the door. that would mostly help me keep the rest of the world out. wouldn't that be nice? just me, myself and i. alone in the room



heh. time to bring all my masks back eh? wear a different one everywhere i go. im pretty sure i have quite alot to last me. yea. the heart lost. the brain and the wallet rejoices. what the hell. and without a fight too. oh well, what to do? if this is a dream, wake me up from it. if this is reality, let me go back to dreaming.



just came back from mj's house. may be the final time i go there in the next 6 months liao. went to acer to service my stupid com yesterday for a second time. and this time, repair took like 15 min. so i had roughly 1 hr++ to waste away. went to library to waste all those time. 1st time in a super long time stepping in a library. then waited for them to arrive and eat lunch and pool! 1st time in my whole life i never lose any rounds! this holiday is full of 1st things to do and happen eh? went to mj house after that. played for a super long time. over 18 hrs. althought got some breaks in between. and dinner around 9+, a 3 hr nap from 1am to 4am, and a 2 hr supper session until 6am. then went back to gaming. lol. laptops were constantly left on. gamed until 2pm++ when we felt tired, then we started packing. lol. and i need my sleep liao. still got work tomorrow. at 11am somemore. zzz



right now, i fucking hate acer servicing. my screen was spoilt in the morning, so i went in the afternoon to service it. and so, 3 hrs of my life was wasted there. service finish, thought everything was alright. bloody fuck. stupid fan not working. laptop overheated. auto shutdown. fuck lah. stupid @^&#%@*&^!( servicing. like fuck i know what to check. of course i dunno thats why come service right? what the bloody fuck. service not complete lah. fuck man. gonna waste another 3 hrs again. shit lah



yep yep. the brain says no. it says study is more important. the wallet says no. it says its time to start saving to get minimum 500 in the bank account by when mr tan gets old at 21 years of hardship. buttttt, the heart says YES! it screams YES! 2 vs 1. hmmmm. how nice. choices choices. what shall i ever do? even if i do get that choice, my self confidence sure drag me back down. glug glug glug. back down into the deep dark ocean. gah. what a nightmare. well, thats life for u. U STINKING, FILTHY, FREAKING, BITCHING BULLY!



back from archery chalet. bleah. no alcohol one. they scared ppl go home drunk. well, whatever. didn't sleep the whole night. went to driving on thursday morning. passed basic theory of course, since my set of questions are freaking easy, then went to jurong to find mj. well, lets say our timing si buay zhun. i reach jurong, he just nice come up from the escalator. and the train arrived liao. so immediately got train to pasir ris! then we waited for yc to arrive. he stay so near also later than us. lol. forgot what i ate for lunch that day liao. think im too tired to remember. either that or im too lazy. then at chalet there. we slack for like what? 20 mins? then bring laptop out liao. lol. then game all the way until they bbq food. bbq food we also still playing. lol. in the end, i ate just lots of otah, 1 chicken wing, 1 stingray piece and lots of water! lol. just cos we were too busy playing. mmm we played halfway, then some people wanted to go rent bicycle. so we paused and went bicycling. when we went there, lol. no one wanted to rent the bikes. lol. then gerald bought a box of bombbags. lol. they pranked many ppl. lol the girls expression. classic. we kena pracked too. they threw the bombbag while we were gaming. lol. stupid thingy. exploded under our legs. then for the whole afternoon to night, we were gaming. until around 3am? or 4am. around there. then we went walk walk. walk to mac. ate supper. the rest ate breakfast. mcgriddles suck. the thingy really CMI. totally really not nice. add chilli also no diff. add black pepper then taste abit better. and there was the usual mac nonsensical breakfast set. hashbrown, coffee, and an additional hashbrown for me. somemore not filling one. why kopitiam not 24/7 de?! the coffee also another CMI. drink without sugar or creamer still can feel sleepy. si buay kuku. then we sat/lay at mac until mj wanted to go back game or else he would sleep. so we walked back. and gamed! all the way until 8am around there. only then did we keep our laptops. lol. and then we rested until the rest woke up. then the chalet. they send ppl chase u out one. aloha loyang is that ... de. then we went burger king to wait for them eat breakfast. and we walked and walked and walked. carrying tons of stuff. heavy stuff. and we went white sands arcade watch them play games. then when play until sian then we went home. go home just to sleep and get ready for maybe night games? and i couldn't stop missing ____. nope. not at all. sigh. sucky times

Terence
Radin Mas Primary, Queensway Secondary and now Singapore Poly
Singaporean (obviously duh)
freshly made on 14th July 1990
godofsuckers@hotmail.com

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