im feeling all the weird stuff today. i swear. today is a really fucked up day. pract was an asshole. pnid is a bitch. especially with all the fucking dust layers around the equipment. tracing was hard cos of the super jumbled wiring and piping. very confusing. the things were painted in gray. the dust also gray. hard to differentiate. pract ended earliest though. 1 hr and 45 mins for a 4 hr pract session. went to slack before gems. gems was, some parts common sense and some parts total theory. we died at the theory part. revision was kinda fun. common sense and plain gut feeling is good enough to clear revision. after that, go do PC. well, not me. i mostly done, except explaination using theory which i suck at. so, i got help. and do until super tired. go onto bus, i slept. nearly missed my stop another time. got to go sleep early. like, now



i, am dumb. so dumb that i dunno where and how to explain it. words are...not enough to explain...



went to school early. to try to go do pract preparation. in the end, cannot go. lab closed. slack until time to go class. then lecturer say do chapter 4. i bring only chapter 3. neh neh poks. in the end slack in class, irritate my whole row by being myself. thermo was, interesting. the way to get marks for thermo is, kuku-ish, but once explained, it seems a little bit easier. just that little bit...mta tutorial cancelled. again. read manga and stone for around 1 hr. then go maths. finally. got taught something that i can understand. should have slept. if not for that extra "student" in class...dunno why. seems that lecturers are getting assessed. monday also got assessment. dumb module for monday, maths for today. lessons for 1st 3 days supposed to be 10am. i've been waking earlier than normal...monday for case study, today for pract, tomorrow for pract. pc is tiring. pract is, boring. im, bored. very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, bored....oh. i remember being extremely irritating today. dunno why also. i remember irritating lots of people...



tired...slept in class. 2 crumplers...loads of shit to do this whole week. assignment worth 20%. from a shit module that we all hate. seems that i keep sleeping in pd quite recently. every monday, 2 to 3pm. sleeping on carpet...sleep...maths now. listening to some maths stuff that i dun understand. gonna need to start studying soon...



everyone becomes different every second. faces change. attitudes change. everything changes. at which point are we really ourself? when we want it? when others think we are great? or every single different us is the real us?



since im so lazy, this is 15th july's post. erm, went vivo. sec sch friends time. ate at, forgot where liao. some ramen shop. ate hotpot there. kinda broke now. after dinner, usual stuff. go to roof, play cards. got my bday presents from them, thanks once again. yea. lazy to type in more detail le. very tired



for the last 2 years, i have been wishing for the same thing. for the last 2 years, i did not get what i wish for. this year, im still wishing for the same thing. how pathetic of me



today was, fun. lesson was boring, as usual. mta is becoming more boring and more confusing. lunch time. i got shock. and i got friends who have good memory. went to lunch, sit at table thinking what to eat. bert say wait for the rest to come then order food. neh neh poks. they come with subway in their hand! i thought they eat subway without telling me. then, they took the foot long sub, opened it up, and placed a candle in the middle of it. lol. that was my bday "cake". lol. nice of them to remember i dun like cakes. then just nice, got people giving out balloons. HELIUM FILLED BALLOONS. so i went to kope 1. went for thermo. just before ting came, i got my present. a brand new ipod casing. with silicon outside. hooray! THANKS PEOPLE FOR THE COVER. my ipod is back to being a fatty. and i thought jamie was supposed to help me find nia. so nice of the them. zb played with my balloon in class. he made my balloon float in midair. lol. then after thermo, didnt feel like going to mta tutorial. so go cafe play game. didnt know bert, chit, jamie, kris and yl so on. i wanna pon they pon with me. lol. went to cafe, undid the knot of the balloon. made funny noises with the helium inside. hahaha. so cool. play finish game go maths. maths was revising old topic. but lots of new crap. confusing like hell. then maths tutorial. felt thirsty. went to get drink. hahaha. get for damn long time. hahaha. came back, watch happy tree friends. hahaha. no mood listen lecture liao. then maths end. we played with more helium! and maths teacher so sporting. let us play in class also. hahaha. went to find food after that. dun wanna say what i ate. lol. shit man. make me feel so. full. then went to island creamery. they ordered the tub of, burnt caramel if im not wrong. then i got my free ice cream. lol. the burnt caramel. super bitter. but quite nice also. and we drew pictures there! lol. what a fun tuesday. the 2 cards. lol. can be described with 1 word. funny. hahaha. tomorrow gonna be dead tired again i guess. bleah. hope i dun get drunk tomorrow. once again, thanks to those who made today fun. more thanks reserved for bert, chit, jamie, kris and yl. they went to find food with me!



open ur eyes, ears and heart and shut ur mouth. then maybe u would be able to see the problems.



never. ever. go to war with yourself. sure. it might be pretty interesting to fight with urself. it actually helps to pass the time when u are bored. but u end up with that extremely confused expression on ur face, and u tend to be really confused. mental warring is extremely taxing on the brain. there are endless things to argue about that have no exact answer. questions with no definite answers. these questions are the best entertainment when there's nothing else to do.



even in a room with them around, i can smile and feel nothing inside. there is, a void there. there can be people asking me what i feel about this or that and i can give an answer. without thinking. nothing is normal. everything's just an illusion. an illusion generated by the peace and the quiet. an illusion that tries to hide reality. gonna get last paper tomorrow. dun really care about it. dun really care about anything now. except for 1 thing...



i, dun feel right. mst scores are okok but i dun feel so. everything so far around 80% only. mst 10%. max up to 30%. so, okok only. have a feeling gpa gonna drop because of ps, pc and the stupid cptc. i, am not feeling happy. why?



what's the point of saving someone everytime when they didn't ask for help and then not being able to save them when they really need help? or asking people for help when u actually dun need it and not asking for help when u're in a pile of pretty deep shit? people like to do pointless things. im no exception. in fact, i've been doing lots of pointless stuff. lots and lots of it...



saw this. for the 1st half of your life, people tell u what u should do. for the next half, people tell u what u should have done. i think its kinda true. especially when it comes to parents.



now i understand why when it hurts u have to smile. if u got hurt and u make any noise, people will tell u to stop whining. if u smile, people would have nothing to say. showing fake smiles would, is a good thing to do afterall...



something is wrong with me. i can't seem to eat properly. and im not sick. weird weird weird. must be the MSTs. last paper tomorrow. screwed just about all of my papers. hope there's lots more working marks than answer marks. method marks too please

Terence
Radin Mas Primary, Queensway Secondary and now Singapore Poly
Singaporean (obviously duh)
freshly made on 14th July 1990
godofsuckers@hotmail.com

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