we are in everyone. who are we really? are we the person we portray for others to see? or are we really us? in every person there is a hurt kid, a rebellious teen and other different personalities. which personalities do we show to which type of people? can people really adapt and change their personality in different environments? in everyone else's mind, there is a perception of someone. that perception is different from what another person has of the same someone. what we try to portray may not seem appealing to certain people. therefore, their perception will be distorted. this is how hatred is born. simply through different perceptions. for example. im seen as a slacker. am i really a slacker? well, too bad. i am. LOL. however, some sicko may not find me to be a slacker. who knows? different people have different mentality. the human mind is really not something so easily read is it?



shitload of things to do. no time to relax. still gotta go see final year projects tomorrow. for the whole, freaking day. sian. ahhhhh. life really sucks



super long break today. break for so many hours until sian. bring laptop also didn't help much. watched ip man. the fight scene damn nice. then went gaming. boring 2 days of the week already. tomorrow gonna be the 3rd boring day. sianness to the max sia. lots of music to hear now. time to clear my songs up



went jurong for 2nd day. lucky i bring laptop. otherwise bored to death. nothing to do there. adults mahjonging away, burning money away like no one else's business. played for damn long. then see show. then went back to game. this probably went on for most of the day. perhaps even more than 3 hrs. then around dinner time, all went to eat, then no more com time. sit in front of tv time. that just about sums up my 3 days of chinese new year. dunno how much was collected.

was tagged by 2 people. to do the same list of things. which i already done before, and is circulating around again. therefore, i have decided not to do it. back to schooling tomorrow. what else?



just got back from reunion dinner. eat at least 2 crabs. lots of beef, some vege thats hard to say the name here, and the rest i kinda forget, except it went down my stomach. lol. was forced to go prayers with dad in the afternoon cos nobody else from my family wanted to go. then my dad say just go. or else pai seh. sian sia. maybe im wrong but actually ar, i see no sense in praying to ancestors. they are dead right? oh well, i cant understand everyone can i? on the way to reunion dinner, it kinda rained. good sign! then slacked until around now. maybe +/- 40 mins? oh well, whatever. tomorrow gonna needa wake up to go pray again. eyes gonna sting from all the smoke. sian. gonna update this later again as today is 1st day liao. ang pao collection time soon!

1st day over liao. collected dunno how much. almost same as yesterday. seoul garden style grill, without the soup in the middle. everything was grilled. even fishballs! and we fried rice with the griller. lots of nonsence of course. and we didn't get stomachaches! mahjonged abit after that. no one playing money. all play for fun de. realised the money counting thing was abit too crazy. too crazy. then went home early. cos going out soon.



are you related to you? can you relate to yourself? are you wanted by yourself? what is the link betwen you and you? only you can answer that to yourself.



yf's bday today. went to school with fuckload of crap. felt tired all through. went to city hall. dinner at new york new york. 1 thing i can say now la. the chicken there. quite good. but the fish and chips. today's was horrible. the fish came with super thick floury skin. damn disgusting. the pasta is good too. expensive and not filling. but nice. went to play cards as usual. what else do we do? then of course, we get sian with cards and go home to slack or do whatever we want. no pics. lazy to take them.



sigh. pract, pract and pract. nothing but pract. had presentation today. kinda screwed it badly. forgot to say some stuff. hope i dun get penalised. and since lecturer said its not a formal presentation, we did lots of crap. all the 5 groups were presenting and some people would make the class laugh. i think presentations should be done that way. to prevent people from sleeping in presentations. tomorrow gonna be a long day. most prob not gonna have break from 8 am. 8-10 lessons. 10 to 1 pract. 1 to 3 gems. 3.15 to dunno when CPTC talk. then 5.30 to 7.30 jap. if anyone has a "better" day, i salute that person. its hard to get my kind of timetable already. chances of timetables being more screwed up than mine is kinda low. ahhhhh. when can they give us year 1 sem 1 timetable back?

that half bottle of whiskey is smiling at me. why ar? head aches so much these days. wonder why too. troublesome



cheh. another one of those tags. no needa see also know from who, so im gonna keep quiet. here is goes.

Pick your birth month.
→ Change the font to red for anything that doesn’t apply to you.
→ Bold the five that best apply to you.
→ Copy to your blog, livejournal, xanga, wordpress
→ Tag 5 people from your friends list.

JANUARY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, Shy and Humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic. Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness.Polite and soft-spoken.Having ideas.Sensitive.Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay.Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental.Funny and humorous.Loves to joke.Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly.Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt and takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool.Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships.Systematic.

OCTOBER:Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think.Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced.Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:Has to lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Aim and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Good and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If to there is to will, to there is to way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be halo. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

now. since i dun tag anyone, the tag part can obviously ignore. wanna do, just do. dun wanna do, no one's gonna force u. suit urselves



sigh. the dilemma of a slacker. to go for classes, or not to go for classes. that, is the question. damn it lah. wanna go class, but dun wanna go. wanna go cos maybe have important stuff. dun wanna go cos lazy. zzz. if only lessons weren't that important. the stuff we do in school, some of them seriously sucks. sigh. so many courses providing more fun and entertainment. for example, optometry. they freaking get to cut eyeballs lah. damn it man. even if its pig's eyeballs, its still eyeballs. zzz

not everything is clearly shown right? instincts tell us to look at the problem before us with one method of solving the problem. however, not everything is that straight-forward. there will be things that do not go your way. things that are fucked up. things that cannot be solved conventionally. this situation is what it is. figure it out. its time to put ur demented self to the test.



the world isn't as simple as it was originally thought to be eh?



right. GEMS yesterday proved 1 very, extremely, superbly important point. there are few women who are competant drivers. the way my lecturer explain it made us laugh. women on highways are scary. they do not overtake, do not give way, and most of all, keep to the "speed limit" of the expressway. males are better drivers cos we do not follow rules that closely. expressway limit put 80 means minimum speed 100. reason is damn simple. we wanna get from point A to point B ASAP. not take time to look at scenery. and female drivers mostly do not recognise road names. they recognise roads by the landmarks that are nearby. that made my wednesday. totally laughed my ass off. know your rights rocks. plus, its totally ICA. which makes it super fun. no needa bring notes, can do whatever u want, what more can u ask from a lecturer?

work piling up all the way. stress levels increasing. bad temper rising back up. late nights + early mornings do not suit me. shall keep quiet about anything. bottle everything up inside. let out so early for what? its not as if release once there is anything to say would accomplish anything. so, i'll rather bottle it all up and release it all at once to get things done. but its pretty cunning of the government to provide paper for feedback without doing anything. dun want riots? let people write on the slips of paper. once the paper is sent, nothing will be done. maybe once in what? a super long time? of the total feedback forms i see daily, i doubt that anything is done to rectify the problem or to alleviate the situation. not free to go through one by one? crap. thats simply bullshit. if time can be spent on printing feedback forms, time should be allocated to reading feedback forms. besides, what else can u do with the feedback forms? spend money buy, spend money print, let people waste some ink, then what? let it rot for abit then send to recycling plant? or burn when the office too cold? seriously lah. feedback forms do not work at all if the suggestions are not taken properly



secrets that have been revealed. secrets that have been burried. secrets that may not have been secrets. what have i said that are secrets? thats also a secret. how to know if i've been lying? answer is simple. u simply dunno. and i keep people out simply because i dun like people butting in. what's over is over. however, revealed secrets cannot be concealed again. therefore, if i refuse to say certain stuff, dun blame me. my level of trust is pretty low



ok. essay writing time. lets see. from 26th and 31st december 2008 , to 5th and 9th of january 2009. thats 4 days. wow. erm, thats what i remember nia. if missed out anything, too bad. my memory didnt commit it to memory.

ok. 26th dec 1st. 26th. if i remember correctly, it was christmas at purply's house. the 4 siao ginas, jacob, birdy and me. wee wee was supposed to come. but last min thingy hooked him back to wherever he came from. so he couldn't come. reached early again. seems that im early for everything except school. then walk up and down with the bird. go arcade, go alot of place. then met kris. bought chocs? yea. i think thats it. chocs for purply's family. and so, 3 ppl go purply house. the other 3 all late. so too bad for them, they had to go alone. reach there, sit on sofa and do nothing? i guess so. then went mahjonging until they all arrived, then hungry lr buy dinner. forgot what pizza they buy. but the chicken wings. power lah that one. 1 whole box of it. quite nice lah. the 2 doggies ate the crust. dogs eatting bread. lol. then play cards. dunno why everyone wanna play heart attack. then went mahjonging again, until we nearly miss last bus. then realised i got no bus home, need to call my dad. lucky his mood that day good. or else i can ownself walk home from toa payoh liao. best thing? the next day i gave this laptop to acer. thanks acer, for screwing 2 weeks of my internet life. lol.

now. 31st. stupid lessons. gems the teacher never tell us no need go. jap lesson they sms damn late. like fuck? i could have slacked at home more lah. because of that, i slacked less. sigh. ok. went vivo to find su ern and su yee 1st. was bored at home lah. laptop already say bye bye liao mah. then huilu came. then ky and charmaine came. opened resolution papers from last year. im the most successful! cos mine was to slack more! and drink more! and of course, play cards. what else to do to waste time? and jack brought 2 friends wit him. they got kinda drunk. whiskey is not meant for small kids. LOL. and we played until nearly 12. then walk here and there. and we had to climb stairs. sigh. i was so tired lah. stand and see mediacorp at vivo thingy. was boring cos i didnt recognise most of the artistes. dun see tv liao. then after 12am, since im lazy, i shall merge it here! went to hawker to get drinks. they sat there quite long. nearly slept. lol. decided not to bring alcohol out so much le. not much stock left. and went home to collapse on bed. tada! supposedly last post of 2008 + 1st post of 2009.

5th january. charmaine's birthday. ky passed us coloured cards to write wishes for charmaine. frankly speaking, i dunno what to write. lol. and i didn't think of what yf wrote. that one damn power. everyone see le laugh straight lah. lol. and mine was the only black card! pencil drawings. lol. met the rest of the people. yf, jack, su ern, su yee and pearlyn. yep. stuck cards on a large piece of hard thingy. then went to restaurant to wait for ky and charmaine. and they came! and we "sang" happy birthday. and the restaurant people screwed up my order twice. i got fed up at the 2nd time, and decided to just eat and fuck care already. hungry liao. 1st time i lose to ky in eating sia. then cake. yes. cake. erm, dunno what cake. bought from breadtalk. mostly su ern and su yee eating. cos the rest too full for that. then went to durian. to do what? of course to play cards! played cards until somehow charmaine's nail got ripped. then we went home. and thats it.

9th january. lao jiao's bird day. mr bird shocked us with his botak head yesterday? or afew days ago. memory didn't store. his bird day, very sad. got stress de. plant design big bomb come. then usual friday stuffs, and then we went plaza sing for dinner. ajisen ramen? i think there. the ramen restaurant. 6 people, 4 order volcano. 1 crayfish, and my ton toro. lots of pork! pork is good for the human body! but im digressing. pui. ok. eat le, took pictures. they are not here cos obviously i didnt request for them yet. many pictures were taken. lots of retarded pictures of me were taken. and i mean lots. the problem? the moment i make the retarded face, they start laughing. then buay tahan. i also laugh like mad. everyone laugh except chit. cos i never let her see my face until the picture was taken. lol. then i went to get the lost little 8 year old wee wee. he told me he at purple line, but was actually at the red one. so, HAH. im not the only one who gets lost. hehehe. now he cant say anything about me. went to fidn the 4 siao gina, then went arcade. sigh. 4 girls and 1 guy playing daytona. i got blocked sometimes. sometimes the gear slided all over, and some parts i screwed up. seriously. i shall not play arcade anymore. lol. thats nonsence of course. then i went to see mr bird waste a credit on silent hill. just near the end of the game. lol. he died. then put credit, game ended in less than 5 mins. he was like cursing all over the place lah. the 4 ginas went back to plaza sing when i went see bird lose money. do what? what else do girls do? shop lah. then wait until they shop finish, then go home.

woooo 4 days worth of work. havent add those lost days of cbcbing. still, this is quite a long essay. i think i deserve full marks! LOL



cheh. didnt want to blog on this lousy laptop. but i got pretty bored. not gonna do long essay now. do it when acer fucking gives me back my laptop which was due today. seriously. i think acer should just repair on the spot. 7 working days. add 5 and a half more days, new year + weekends, thats almost 2 weeks already. and they still havent give me back my laptop. dun wanna buy acer next time already. seems that i have been lying to myself all the time. why? dun tell u. figure it out yourself. just remember. humans tend to avoid seeing what they do not wish to see most. its a form of delusion everyone uses. my eyes have been covered for a long time. i doubt the covers will be removed anytime soon. 1st post of the year and its wasted on wasting time. how nice of me to do such a thing.

there. i posted. now pls dun ask me to blog again unti i get my laptop back

Terence
Radin Mas Primary, Queensway Secondary and now Singapore Poly
Singaporean (obviously duh)
freshly made on 14th July 1990
godofsuckers@hotmail.com

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