went to school early today. found out that there was no maths lesson the whole bloody day. kns. then go there early give report qns to jamie. then play game until they went lunch. then after lunch, bert pangseh me go lab sleep. then pract. today no need lab coat, i go and bring. damn ass lah. waste my strength carring the lab coat. practical was also damn iritating. supposed to do powerpoint slides for teacher. hand in by end of lesson. i found my stuff, got 4 slides, initially only 2. then we all feel not enough. so we add and add and add. add until enough. then this agus ar, piang eh. search so long. only 1 para. we search for him i think got 2 slides lor. then add here and there, number of slides should be enough lah. so kuku lah. make slides in afew hrs. then had to do plant visit report. bear tank the most. intro also he bao. gah. stupid report. environmental engineering somewhat sucks although lecturer damn slack. got more reports to do le. maths PBL, fmb formal report, cre report, bioanal report and yea. i think thats it. and there is only 3 freaking weeks to do all those. seriously wth.



is it just me? or are people getting colder by the moment?



here's another fucked up thought that happened out of nowhere. all of u ppl know life likes to screw people upside down right? have u ever looked at who life fucks with? mostly its those happy people. right? so, my theory is this. to keep your life at the best conditions, u must be unhappy all the time. why? cos the suckiest jobs are those that pay the most, and they are confirmed to wipe off any smiles u have at the start of the job. and people who are miserable usually cannot be screwed by life any further, so life most probably doesnt give a fuck about them. so, lets all start to be miserable!



hmmmm. checking my values lead me to believe 1 thing. i'm a psychopath. nonono. its not that bad u know. here's the meaning. Psychopathy is a psychological construct that describes chronic immoral and antisocial behavior. mmmmm. and there's nothing wrong with me. It is estimated that approximately one percent of the general population are psychopaths. therefore, i'm perfectly alright. maybe its due to my beliefs, but i do not place my trust in anyone easily. trusting and outgoing are 2 entirely different things. i doubt that anyone can be trusted at all. anyone. even myself. why? because of a simple reason. we are humans. and humans have proven to be untrustworthy. i guess the number of prople i can trust can be counted with all my fingers, and i would still have leftover fingers.



somehow, watching 2 of the batman movies consecutively makes today's society seems rather pleasant. same cruelty though i guess. hope someone like the joker appears soon. that would certainly make things a little more interesting. and somehow, the lecturers teaching 3rd year module. some of them kinda suck alot. shit lah. and there are shitloads of work to be done. friday needa hand in plant design, tuesday got gems presentation. zzz. WTF



wtf wtf wtf. terence tan is hereby declaring that he hates pubs. i thought pubs were fun. not that fun. and now i know why people get hangovers when they go pubs. the music ar, walao. nice. but damn loud. want talk, must shout de. and is shout into ear one. no wonder hangover lah. Everywhere pain leh. next time, no matter for who, i wouldnt go to any pubs. go or dun go, i doubt i will miss out anything. never again. once is enough.

and the zookeeper wasnt killed by the tigers. he suicided. so technically, he used the tigers as a suicide item. and there isnt anything wrong to me leh. if i was the tiger, i would also do the same. why? 1 piece of meat suddenly run to me. why would i not eat it? but the tiger too tame liao lah. bite le also never eat. somemore can get scared so easily. aiyo. tigers nowadays got no standard liao. LOL



sometimes, i wonder if i should stop tolerating attitudes from anyone. im not blind, im not feeling-less. im just ignoring all those. who those people are, there is absolutely no need for me to say. why? simple reason. say and dun say, in class ar, makes no diff. if i needa explain, then i got nothing to say, except that if u are in my class and u dunno, u can be considered the 5th superhero. already got 4 le. lets continue and see how it goes 1st. and calculate the next step when the time is right.

and what's the problem with society nowadays? there seems to be damn few people who are trustable. maybe i should go back to being suspicious of everyone now? its like what i learn from GEMs. if u are nice to people, u don't get results. everything is no. no. no. nothing but "no", "cannot be done", "sorry, this is not our policy". and when u become nasty, everything becomes, "yes yes. we will get it clarified". this is fucking lame lah. its like telling us to be faggots and assholes wherever we go. and the sad/good part is, i totally agree. there is no point in being nice sometimes. it just doesn't get u what u want



its getting pretty tiring to be wearing masks all the time. means time to mix-and-confuse. wat happens daily will kinda be different. i'll try not to make it obvious. see who can see the difference. i doubt anyone will see the diff. tomorrow. long day again. i really hate this sem. out of 5 days, 4 of them im off in the late evening. and sometimes, the only 1 day free is taken up to solve practicals. since there is no other time to do it as a group. online discussion means lots of ppl not there. sometimes, that includes me of course. so yea. kinda not free the whole bloody week unless some lecturers cancel class. seems good right? wait until they plan the make-up lesson. can cry de lor. anyhow chup 1 slot ulu timing, ulu place, ask us stone afew hrs after class that kind of make-up lesson. and to top it off, i havent studied anything for MST, neither have i really concentrated on the practical reports. and i'm laggin behind in quite alot of classes. especially plant design. aiyo. stupid thing. make me lag behind so far. sian. add that to CPTC, a freaking 6 whole weeks, which means my holidays just poofed away. best thing? the workplace doesnt have a canteen. we have to bring lunch in ourselves. on top of that, there's no pay and we have to pay for transportation. like wtf lah. other course ITP got pay. we have to pay somemore. damn ass lah. ITE and NP seems to be paid leh. seriously wtf lah. si buay sian. zzz



its great leading 4 ppl to be lost! today, went sim lim to get my ipod cover. went with bert, bear and the 7 yr old kid. then we went to meet hai yee who was at sim lim liao. 1st, i brought them into the lift, and we went up, and went down again. wooo! 4 stories up and down. lol. then went all the way to top floor. and got my ipod cover. for 20 bucks, i kind of think its ok lah. then bear bought his mouse. another rich guy. bear bought a razer mouse. around 70 bucks i think. and then hai yee got her thumbdrive. from some shop. and and and we went to eat! actually, only bert and me eat nia. and then, i led all 4 of them on a 45 min journey. lol. walked a wrong path. and my guess was right! i walked in the wrong direction! yay! i bring 4 ppl carrying bags around the whole place! best thing is, im the only one without a bag. i rock right? lol. and we walk and walk and walk until js caled his dad and saved them. damn. LOL. and then we walked to dhoby there. sigh. adventure ended. lol. and then we went to somerset mac drink coffee. and slack there. didn't know we were so good at wasting time. we sat there damn long lah. for what i also dunno. just that it's fun. and then they wanted to go home. so go home lor. on msn nia ar, can see 2 ppl shoot me liao. lol. ahhh well, it was fun.

sometimes, its just not worth it. dun understand? doesn't matter. its for me to know, and for u to find out. of course, as usual, there's no prize for correct answers.



bah wtf. got meds to eat liao. all cos my jaw hurts. why do all doctors try to cure all pain with drugs? and there they are saying that drugs are bad for u. i think ar, the only thing that can cure any pain ar, is abalone. good food beats all sorts of nonsence drugs! and i ponned class to see the doctor/dentist/whatever that job is. to top it off, the med is like, freaking pink lah. bright pink for that matter. zzzz. pink meds. now i'll look weird walking around with a bag of pinky stuff. zzz



my class was crashed by my classmate. sounds weird? its true! wee wee crashed my GEMs class. he went there to laugh at what the lecturer said and to play his FF8. then we went to get beef jerky from 7-11 at mrt there. 1 thing is for sure. beef jerky is fucking nice. just maybe abit salty. then i had to pei wee wee go his cca training. its called the chess club. but there are like, 3 types of chess in 1 chess club. so his club senior ask me i from which club, its like lol. im not from ANY of the clubs. then when another senior ask them to move chess piece, wee wee asked me to do. then the whole room look at me. lol. then i jitao sian diao. i dun even play wei qi in the very 1st place lah. its like asking a small kid to do Amaths. the kid sure say dunno one lor. then jap class and the ususal stay back for gaming again. should stop it. feel really tired. even morning dun feel like waking up lor. mom woke me up, told her i didn't wanna go school. its really damn tired lor. zzz. i need my sleep. but the report calls me. what the hell. ZZZ



went prawning today. woke up early. just to go dover and take train. to bishan. to catch prawn. ok lah. prawning is. expensive, patience-consuming, tiring and delicious. and the prawns are those big head prawns. big head, small body. but bbqed alive really nice leh. we just put the live prawns on the grill, turn red we eat le. hmmm. some were half cooked, go back bbq. then i lazy bbq, ate 1 half cooked prawn. half bbq, half shashimi. still nothing wrong with my stomach yet. cos the prawn fresh? who knows? then went NP find su ern. she had some performance thingy. waited for 1 hr++. ate 1 instant noodle and drank 1 litre of milk. then as usual, solo going home. kind of used to it le. thats why when ppl say go home alone not good, i dun see the not good part. can enjoy aircon, listen to music, save saliva and can rest. which part not good? maybe its cos im going to back to anti-social whenever im not with friends/classmates? shall end with a nice song. seize the day by avenged sevenfold


Seize The Day - Avenged Sevenfold

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home



Yuki, Muon, Madobe Nite.
Snow, Silence, By the Window
Romaji
Oto mo nai sekai ni
Maiorita I was snow

"Umidasarete kara sannenkan,watashi ha zutto sou yatte sugoshite kita."

Nanika ga kowarete nanika ga umareru
Kurikaeshi muda na koto sae
Yamenai hito-tachi fushigi na hito-tachi
Nagameru watashi mo fukumareta

Hodokenai mondai nado ari ha shinai to
Shittetemo fukuzatsu na dankai ga monogatari tsukutte iku

Watashi ni mo tada hitotsu no ganbou ga moteru nara
Kioku no naka saisho kara wo hon ni shite madobe de yomu
Peeji ni ha akai shirushi arawarete odoridasu
Tsuraresou da to omou nante douka shiteru keredo
Kinjirareta waado wo tsubuyakeba saigo...

"Kono ginga wo toukatsu-suru Jouhou Tougou Shinentai ni yotte tsukurareta
tai yuuki seimeitai kontakuto-you hyuumanoido intaafeesu.
Sore ga watashi."

Dokoka he nigeru no doko ni mo nigenai
Sore dake de kachi aru ishiki
Megenai hito-tachi yasashii hito-tachi
Ugokasareta watashi no mirai

Nagaredasu tsuyoi chikara shiawase yobu to
Ki ga tsuita sono mama de hitsuyou na monogatari shirusaretara

Sonzai ga kawaru hodo no yume wo motte mitaku naru
Kanjou he to kyoukan he to tsunagareba madobe ni tachi
Shizukesa ni dakarenagara mata kyou mo matte iru
Yuruyaka ni furu mizu ja nakute motto sabishii tsubu

Iro ga nai sekai de
Mitsuketa no You are star

"Kiki ga semaru to shitara, mazu, anata."

Sonzai ga kawaru hodo no yume wo motte mitaku naru
Kanjou he to kyoukan he to tsunagareba madobe ni tachi
Shizukesa ni dakarenagara mata kyou mo matte iru
Yuruyaka ni furu mizu ja nakute motto sabishii tsubu

Oto mo nai sekai ni
Maiorita I was snow

"Saisho kara watashi shika inai.
Jouhou no dentatsu ni sogo ga hassei-suru ka mo shirenai
demo, kiite. Sore ga watashi ga koko ni iru riyuu, anata ga koko ni iru riyuu.
Shinjite."

English
In a world without sound,
I fluttered down: I was snow

"For the three years since I was born,
I have spent that entire time doing so."

Something breaks, and something is born
Even the things that repeat fruitlessly
Unrelenting people, mysterious people
I, who observed them, was included as well

Problems that cannot be solved do not exist
Though I know this, a complex gradation is composing a story

If even I possess but one single desire,
I would publish "From the Start" in my memories and read it by the window
A red symbol appears on the pages and breaks out into dance
I think, "I'm about to be lured out," and I'm doing something about it, but
When I murmur the forbidden words, it will end...

"A humanoid interface for use in contact with organic living creatures,
created by the Data Integration Thought Entity that supervises this galaxy.
That would be me."

I'll run away somewhere, I won't run away anywhere
With that alone, consciousness has merit
Undaunted people, gentle people
And my future, which was forced to move

One calls this flowing, potent strength "happiness"
I've noticed that, if a vital story was written down as such

I'd like to try having a dream great enough to change my existence
If I connect it to emotion and empathy, I'll stand by the window
And as I'm embraced by tranquillity, again I'll be waiting for tomorrow
It falls gently: not water, but a lonelier drop

In a world without colour,
I found you: You are a star

"Should a crisis approach, first, it will reach you."

I'd like to try having a dream great enough to change my existence
If I connect it to emotion and empathy, I'll stand by the window
And as I'm embraced by tranquillity, again I'll be waiting for tomorrow
It falls gently: not water, but a lonelier drop

In a world without sound,
I fluttered down: I was snow

"There have been none but me since the beginning.
There may be an outbreak of inconsistency in the transmission of data,
but please, listen. That is the reason why I am here--why you are here.
Believe me."

Terence
Radin Mas Primary, Queensway Secondary and now Singapore Poly
Singaporean (obviously duh)
freshly made on 14th July 1990
godofsuckers@hotmail.com

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