Friday, October 30, 2009
i think, i've gone mad. ate subway for brunch. BRUNCH. around 11 plus. steak and cheese. a small pack of chips. a regular cup of drink. until now, 6 plus, i, am still feeling full. i know its crazy. me?! eating so little and feeling full?! would never happen right? but it did. feel full so easily these days. why? i also want to know why. i want the answers to so many questions. i want so many things to happen. bleah
Fired From The Gun@10/30/2009 06:32:00 PM
Thursday, October 29, 2009
i think, deep down, you know it already. i guess i don't have to say anything. the feeling you get when you want to say something, but realise that saying it is kinda pointless, it, sucks big time. this feeling. this pain in my chest. this sinking feeling. its like being in the ocean. you want to swim up for air. but something makes you sink instead of float. the only time it would let you float, is when you are dead and all bloated up.
Fired From The Gun@10/29/2009 04:48:00 PM
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
people always say that the one who knows you best is yourself. well, those people who said that, are fucking liars. alot of people don't know much about themselves. i don't know myself. i don't know what i want. i don't know this, i don't know that, and i don't know what i don't know. sounds dumb, but read carefully. the meaning might not be clear. but that's the way i like it.
mtb is a killer. i had a headache just from paying attention. every page also got blank space. every page also have to copy something down. fucked up. totally fucked up. finished with mtb, went to do pdpe. another killer. i got shot by a bird and a bear. ouch. lol. pdpe sucks. everything must evaluate. so many things cannot be found online. can find online, also must call. somemore call le not ordering. just call, to ask price. lame shit. great. tomorrow, pdpe lesson. shall let bert continue his shooting. enjoy watching that show is much more suitable for me. lol
Fired From The Gun@10/28/2009 07:06:00 PM
Sunday, October 25, 2009
my world is crashing down once again. goodbye current world. how long will it take to rebuild? how do you say it? express yourself? wouldn't that make everything awkward?
Fired From The Gun@10/25/2009 10:39:00 PM
Saturday, October 24, 2009
my knuckles are red. i've punched the wall until it hurts to move my fingers. it hurts. but i can't help but keep clenching and unclenching my fist. i've punched the wall until i can't feel my fist.and still, i'm frustrated. i don't know what to do. jealousy. anger. pain. the weather isn't helping much either. this sucks. this really sucks. how long will this last?
Fired From The Gun@10/24/2009 07:27:00 PM
Friday, October 23, 2009
i, want to know why i feel this way. why it aches. it doesn't make any sense to me. i don't understand it a single bit. sigh
i hate that guy now. i just fucking hate him. it doesn't matter why. it's just an inexplicable hate. my anger burns. i can't believe it. i'm trembling. in pure anger. if i get provoked, i don't know what i would do. rarely have i ever hated anyone like this. if i had the power to remove some people from this world, as in, completely and totally remove to the point where nobody remembers that that person ever existed even for a single second, he would most definitely be on that list. right at the fucking top. i'm feeling particularly murderous now. fuck it. fuck this. above all, FUCK HIM TO HELL AND LET HIM ROT THE FUCK THERE
Fired From The Gun@10/23/2009 01:08:00 AM
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
no lessons today. no lessons on friday. whoooooo. how should i waste my friday? today was used up pretty quickly. mahjong whole day. hahaha. mahjong was fun! in the end, even after splitting tokens, i had the most "money"! super tyco shit. rare occasion sia. lol. mahjong is tiring. very. but its fun too! mahjonging with friends is really the best way to spend time. 1 day just disappeared like that. poof! gone. if everyday the same, for that short period of time, i wouldnt mind living longer
Fired From The Gun@10/20/2009 11:53:00 PM
Monday, October 19, 2009
back to sch. didnt sleep well. felt as if i closed my eyes for 1 second before my alarm rang. shitty. bio engineering pract 1st thing in the morning. well, after that pract session, i realised 1 thing. number 1, i cant handle bio stuff well. the DNA i was supposed to extract, kinda broke. number 2. i make a pretty good killer! cos the lecturer said only the pure DNA is accepted. if there's broken DNA strand, and inject into the patient, 1 death case! lol.
sigh. when holiday started, i wished that there was sch. so that i wouldnt be so bored. now that sch started, i wish for holidays to faster come. i think im crazy. and i know that i've been jealous for damn long already...it sucks to just look and have to be alright with just looking...argh...what the fuck man...WHAT THE FUCK...
Fired From The Gun@10/19/2009 09:10:00 PM
Sunday, October 18, 2009
went out to find pl just now after lunch. suntec has mazda roadshow. the new rx-8 looks better than the old one. the rear door opening style. DAMN NICE. ate some weird mee sua at carrefoure. sucks. totally cmi. taiwan's mee sua is better. all the internal organs. nice. went to secret recipe slack until vivian came. their iced mocha. got 1 scoop of vanilla ice cream in it. and its damn sweet. extra double shot expresso still so sweet. lol. then we went to find vivian. and since we werent hungry, we went to slack near the fountain. lots of talking. saw weirdass messages on the fountain. it was spraying water and displaying messages from people. and playing songs. went to astons quite late. its, quite nice. but the steak very, small for me. lol. they gave alot of fries though. not bad. more talking after dinner. hahaha. sch starting tomorrow. mondays are gonna suck. 8am to 6pm. worse than office life. bleah.
hmmmmm...if life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. right? sooooo...the qn is, what do you make, when life decides to give you a huge pile of shit? and and and, if living on earth is heaven, and living on earth is living hell, then, what's the point of wanting to go heaven when heaven = living hell?
Fired From The Gun@10/18/2009 01:21:00 AM
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
yesterday, i had the 1st dream i remembered in a long time. it was a nice dream too. if only i didnt have to wake up from it. and now i cant stop thinking about it. maybe dreaming really is better than reality. does that explain why i stoned quite alot just now? oh well. who knows?
Fired From The Gun@10/13/2009 12:15:00 AM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
met up with mj, karen, teri and su ern yesterday. lets see. only i know everyone. lol. went to xin wang hongkong cafe. dinner was, bleah. lol. eat finish, all 4 of them, dunno how, become go gum with each other. all say "thank you for the meal terence". KNS. neh neh. as if i super rich sia. zzz. my blue note flew away...and got loads of coins in repayment...lol. then su ern ask me find someone to take picture. lol. just nice, behind me got terracotta soldier. hahaha. and mj pointed out a cute girl. hard to say what that pervert was thinking. LOL. eat le, go play pool. pool was, interesting. lol. very long never play liao. played 3 rounds only. after pool, same thing happened. i kena thanked for treating them to pool...and i got more coins from them. lol. then, we went to find more entertainment...apparently, we walked past the kbox thingy, then su ern and teri wanted to go sing. lol. we 2 guys were trying to persuade them pool longer instead. lol. in the end, we roll dice, and went kbox. lol. girls bonding session = sing k. guys bonding session = pay money go k, and play cards. lol. then karen had to go early. left 4 ppl. lol. k end quite late sia. 10.30pm. then the 2 remaining girls dun wanna go until kena chased out. lol
tada! saturday explained. no pictures cos im lazy to upload
Fired From The Gun@10/11/2009 09:34:00 PM
Friday, October 09, 2009
humans can only allow themselves to hurt others. when other ppl raise their hand to strike someone close to us, we do not forgive them. yet, when we hurt others, we expect nothing to happen. hmph. this shows how selfish we all are. really selfish at times. hmph. and yes. yes. i'll admit it. yes. im jealous. and nothing can be done about it. hmph
Fired From The Gun@10/09/2009 07:00:00 PM
Thursday, October 08, 2009
i...haven't felt that much anger for a long time. yea. an extremely long time. i don't understand my anger. but it's keeping me awake. i can't stop thinking about it. it's bothering me. why do i feel angry? it just doesn't make sense no matter how i see it. bleah. and now, what a mixture of feelings. its as if someone took a huge jar and threw everything inside and spun all around. everything comes at once. what a morning. hmph
Fired From The Gun@10/08/2009 02:42:00 AM
Friday, October 02, 2009
when you feel happy, you realise you feel happy. then you think back. why do you feel happy? then, thoughts start appearing. soon, you would realise that most of the time you have been happy, it's just a false feeling of elation. one or two seconds and the feeling is gone. you would laugh with the crowd, and stop soon enough. most of the time, it's just a lie. just a mask to hide everything. from everyone. from the world. on the few occasions that you really do feel happy, someone or something somehow screws up and causes that happiness to go flying away. in a way, i guess that happiness is like trust. extremely hard to get, and much harder to keep.
have you ever had that feeling? its depressing. you don't mean to keep mulling over it. but it just doesn't go away. sigh. listening to music doesn't help. playing games doesn't help. nothing helps. highly doubtful that sleep would help as well. i thought it was over. i thought i could forget. i thought wrongly. apparently. i guess i'll never know why. life sucks. really sucks. as to why? ask yourself. don't ask me why.
Fired From The Gun@10/02/2009 10:58:00 PM
maybe, i should change. maybe, its time. maybe...
Fired From The Gun@10/02/2009 01:22:00 AM
